Saturday, October 23, 2010


Why is it that there is so much conflict in trying to live the Christian life?

I'm not a super-Christian. I don't have a loving heart like I should, I don't pray like I should or read the Bible like I should. And maybe talking to God more would answer my questions, but I feel like I have to ask...

My conflict right now is about love. Jesus calls us to love our neighbors, to love all of those around us. I like that... I agree with that. I may not live up to that, but it is the second most important commandment (behind loving God with all your heart), and it's one that we, as a church, forsake too much.

But what about when love comes at a price? Well, the easy answer, the answer I think is right, the answer I'd probably give, is to err on the side of love. To love too much. To give until you've got nothing left to give, and then keep giving love. But what about when you feel like you just can't?

My issue revolves around time. I feel seriously pressed for it. If I was better organized and better motivated, this probably wouldn't even be a concern. But balancing all of the things I have to do is hard for me. So what do I do when people around me need love, and I need to get my job done? What do I do when I feel like I can either fail at my work and give people the time they need, or get my job done and people around me don't have somebody to lean on?

Not to elevate my role in the lives of those around me past any reason. I know the world doesn't turn on me. But I've had times recently when it seemed like people needed someone there, and I've had work to get done. And what if... what if I'm a high school teacher? What if my job is, in some ways, a labor of love and service? What if my choice is... do my best job for my kids? Or give people the time they need? Do I really have to decide? Do I trust God to give to those people, and trust that the job will get done? (I'll just sleep a little less... He will carry me through...)

What do you do when love brings conflict? What is the greatest conflict in your walk with God? And... can we maybe all pray over what we struggle with just a little bit more today?

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